"Tears are prayers too. They travel to God when we can't speak." Psalm 56:8

So today was a bit of a set back emotionally.  I had been feeling settled and confident in the path my life is taking me.  I know that I am confident in the life God has planned for me and that God's timing is perfect.  I know this from the path that led me to my wonderful, patient, accepting and loving husband, Sean.  

I am lucky to have Sean.  He has undeniably been the rock I have needed to get through these times.  The shoulder I have cried on, the one that has made me laugh when I didn't think laughing was possible.  I feel bad for him and for us.  Sometimes, I wish I had known that I would be faced with infertility struggles before I met him, so that I could warn him  that he would have to deal with this complete roller coaster ride.  As much as I know God's timing is perfect, at this time I do not understand why I/we are going through this.  I am confident that just as what happened with my path to Sean, it may not make sense now, but later I will understand.  In the meantime, I came across this quote on Pinterest that I hope can help others who are patiently waiting and wondering when their time will come.  I don't agree with all of it- I don't think I will be better than anyone else as a mother, but I do believe that God is giving me insight and a special vision of and for children. I also believe that I can now comfort others instead of run away from discomfort.  I am not going to be bulletproof and I will have times of tears (lots I'm sure).  Perhaps this is the reason we are experiencing what we are: 

Trying to stay positive-

My hope and faith are bigger than my setbacks and fear.  

Resource pick for this post:

Jimmy Fallon- Coming out of the fertility closet

Resource for the friends and family of those living with infertility

Healing words- my body is not broken

First Post

Thursday, February 19th 2015- 8:00 p.m.  I've probably visited at least 500 websites related to infertility.  No, really.  Since July 2013, my husband and I have tried to start a family.  As many others dealing with infertility, the thought when we first started trying is that *poof* it would just happen.  Three miscarriages and almost two years later we are dealing with a different story.   People don't really understand what is like to be the person who grieves the child they have yet to have or may never have.

"When are you going to start having kids?"  

"You guys are getting older. You better start trying." 

"You don't want to be old parents, do you?"

 "Don't worry.  This happens to a lot of people."  

"Your time will come when the time is right." 

"There are a lot of people who went on to have kids."

 "Don't give up."

 "You're still young. You have time." 

"Oh I know someone who just took 'xyz' and she got pregnant.  Maybe that's what you need."

 "Take advantage of this time. Once you have kids you won't sleep."

 "I'm pregnant." 

Do these quotes resonate with anyone?  Simple statements and questions people make, without realizing its affect.  They all tug at my heart.  I know their purpose is not to be insensitive or to hurt my feelings.  But all of the aforementioned make it feel hard for me to swallow.  I have found a lot of comfort and support through the blogs and shared stories of others going through infertility, and therefore, I have decided to start a blog myself.  I hope this blog helps others relate, helps others to not feel alone, gives valuable resources and information to those dealing with infertility, as well as their families and friends, and touches at least one heart.

This is just the start.

Best Wishes All,

P.S. Just came across this resource for those dealing with infertility and those who know someone dealing with infertility: Acceptance in Infertility: 9 Untruths in the 'Never Give Up' Message