Infertility Awareness

I decided to share my story with infertility publicly, not for pity, but to increase awareness and to offer resources and support.  The support I have received from people after going public with our infertility struggles has been overwhelming.  I have also felt an incredible release and weight off my shoulders.  Sharing my story has helped me to let go of the shame I felt associated with my infertility.  The experience of sharing my story has reminded me of a client I worked with who stuttered.  She was in her 40s and for 40+ years she never talked about her stuttering.  She recalled times with her family where she knew her stuttering was the elephant in the room.  Because nobody ever talked with her about her stuttering, it developed a significant stigma that it was bad.  That stuttering was bad.  The attitudes and feelings one has towards his/her stuttering significantly affects the degree of stuttering.  Relating this story to my challenges with infertility, sharing my journey has allowed me to rid of the negative attitudes and feelings I had of myself and my body.

There are so many reasons I encourage people to increase awareness.  Here are just a few:

• People struggling with infertility feel so alone because nobody ever talks about it

• People frequently ask married couples "When are you going to start having kids?"  
• This question is a natural question to ask, but it may cause unnecessary stress.  The couple could be trying and having a difficult time.  This has happened to me often and in my thoughts I am saying, "If you only knew," but what I actually say is "When the time is right."  I could always handle this question with a smile, but I would often go home in tears.
• Raising awareness may shift the questions people ask others regarding family planning.  Perhaps people will stop asking this question?  Or maybe they will change their question to, "Are you going to try to have kids?"  

• Increasing awareness increases resources.  There are a number of resources on the internet and the doctors offer their knowledge, but there needs to be more research and more support for infertility. There are so many stories I hear of "unexplained" infertility... there has to be an explanation!  For example, I have researched random things I know about myself, like the fact that my hands and feet are constantly (cold hands, warm heart).  This led me to other people challenged with infertility who also experience cold hands and feet.  I wouldn't have come across this pattern if I didn't do extensive research.  Also, some states mandate that insurance companies cover infertility treatments, and some states do not.  Fifteen states have passed laws requiring that insurance policies cover some level of infertility treatment: Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, Texas and West Virginia.

• Increasing awareness reduces the stigma.  Reducing the stigma reduces society produced shame that is associated with infertility.  Reducing and eliminating shame gives people dealing with infertility one less thing to have to address.  Addressing the grief associated with the feelings of the loss of a child you have yet to have or may never have is enough.

• There are so many people who have to deal with infertility.  1 in 8 couples (or 12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. (2006-2010 National Survey of Family Growth, CDC).  Infertility is common, so why don't we talk about it and support it.

Here is a website that gives suggestions on ways to Increase Awareness without impeding on privacy.

Also just came across this blog challenge for infertility awareness!

Sending my best to everyone, no matter your journey!